tirsdag den 28. juni 2022

The latest update...


Sorry, I have not written before to tell about the evaluation. We needed a few days to talk and think about what we should do. This was not a conversation that could be done quickly - it has required many small conversations, at the pace Lars has been able to handle. Basically, Lars is no longer able to talk about "big" topics, and at the same time have to see through nuances.

The neurological assessment that Lars had Thursday last week, was insightful and enlightening.
The reason why Lars suddenly became so ill was clear to Nadia, the name of the one who tested Lars. He has a concussion!

Basically, Lars is no longer able to talk about "big" topics and see through nuances. It has been clear he walks, that he does not remember and that he sleeps all the time.
Nadia,the one testing Lars, asked, among other things, why Lars closes his eyes when he is ask a question. Is it because he can not find the words, or because he does not remember what is being talked about, and then is blank inside. That's because he's blank. That he does not know what is being talked about. I was quite shocked - because he often closes his eyes...Another thing that has happened is that when a message is to be sent from A-B in the brain, it may slip around. That's a worsening of his dementia.
What has now been decided with certainty is that we must find another place to live.
A place where Lars can get around in a wheelchair or with his walker.
Lars should preferably not be alone at home. He must not go down into the basement.
We need something, so that the wheelchair can drive up to the front door (there are 8 stairs), so I do not have to lift it.
Lars came home last Friday. He's doing better than a week ago. The concussion just needs time to go away, and then he may be going even better.
It's hard for him to turn to the new way of being in the house. I have promised him that I will take all my creative things up from the basement, and into a small room so we can sit there together. Of course I will.
Next time I write, I will tell you about the stay Lars has just had - and why he DEFINITELY will not return.
Take care of each other - time together is precious.


Digi-stamp 
Snow Drifters  by Beccysplace.com




Beklager, jeg har ikke skrevet før for at fortælle om evalueringen. Vi havde brug for et par dage til at snakke og tænke over, hvad vi skulle gøre. Dette var ikke en samtale som kunne gøres hurtig - det har krævet mange små samtaler, i det tempo Lars har kunnet magte. I bund og grund, magter Lars ikke mere at skulle samtale om "store" emner, og samtidig at skulle gennemskue nuancer.

Den neurologiske vurdering som Lars var til Torsdag i sidste uge, var indsigtsfuld og oplysende. Baggrunden for at Lars pludselig blev så dårlig, stod klart for hende som testede Lars: Han har hjernerystelse! 

Det forklarer hans pludselige ændring i bla. hvordan han går, han hukommelse og at han sover hele tiden. Nadia, hende som undersøgte Lars, spurgte hvorfor han lukkede øjnene når han snakker. Er det fordi han ikke kan finde ordene, eller at han ikke husker noget som helst af dets vi snakker om og er blank indeni. Det skyldes at han er blank. At han ikke ved hvad der snakkes om.

Jeg blev ret chokeret - for det er ofte han lukker øjnene.
Lars kom hjem i fredags. Han går bedre end for en uge siden. Hjernerystelsen skal blot have tid til at forsvinde, og så kan det være han går endnu lidt bedre. Det er svært for ham, at vende sig til den nye måde, tingene skal gøres på - men han prøver. Pas på hinanden - tiden vi har sammen er kostbar.

tirsdag den 21. juni 2022

Tusind tak - Thank you

 

Thanks to everyone who has written me. It has touched me a lot. My emotions have been a sea of ​​confusion mixed with love.

I called the doctor: She wanted some blood pressure measurements, and a neurological evaluation of Lars. He's going to have the evaluation done Thursday.

I called the dementia corridor we are assigned to - and when she answered I broke down. Immediately she said she would be with me as soon as she could. It did not take her more than 15 min. - then she was here. We talked for about an hour.

Her immediate assessment is that Lars can get a place in a nursing home. BUT I'm too young to join. Then I broke down again. We've been married 37 years! 


We talked about alternatives that could be a kind of preparation/adaptation period, to a ​​nursing homes.

If Lars is going to come home, there are some things that she said, had to be done:

  • Now we have to find out if we can get a ramp on the main stairs. 
  • Lars has to sit in the wheelchair most of the time. 
  • He can not not be alone. 
  • The nursing home shall take over all care, so that it is registered what his needs are.
  • I have to search for a home where there are no stairs.

There are so many things to consider, so many considerations.
I know I'm not the first, nor the last in this situation. You would think it helps, but it just doesn't.

A children's song from the church, reads in a verse (I have thought about this several times today):

Faith is like a little seed you sow and it will grow.

In faith, in hope and in love, I try to find the paths / opportunities that must be right for both Lars and me.




There is so much going on in the garden - it is in bloom.

It's like it's saying: There's new life, give it time -
where before there was nothing, the seed lay dormant, 
but with care and nurturing, it flourished again.





Tak til alle, der har skrevet til mig. Det har rørt mig meget. Mine følelser har været et hav af forvirring blandet med kærlighed.

Jeg ringede til lægen: Hun ville have nogle blodtryksmålinger, og en neurologisk vurdering af Lars. Han vil have evalueringen foretaget torsdag.

Jeg ringede til den demens korridinator, vi er anvist til – og da hun tog tlf. brød jeg sammen. Med det samme sagde hun, at hun ville være hos mig, så snart hun kunne. Det tog hende ikke mere end 15 min. - så var hun her. Vi snakkede i omkring en time.

Hendes umiddelbare vurdering er, at Lars kan få en plads på et plejehjem. MEN jeg er for ung til at være med. Så brød jeg sammen igen. Vi har været gift i 37 år!

Vi talte om alternativer, der kunne være en slags forberedelses-/tilpasningsperiode, til et plejehjem.
Hvis Lars skal med hjem, er der nogle ting, hun sagde, der skulle gøres:

  • Nu skal vi finde ud af, om vi kan få en rampe på hovedtrappen.
  • Lars skal sidde i kørestolen det meste af tiden.
  • Han kan ikke være alene.
  • Plejehjemmet skal overtage al pleje, så det bliver registreret, hvad hans behov er.
  • Jeg skal søge efter et hjem, hvor der ikke er trapper.
Der er så mange ting at overveje.
Jeg ved, at jeg ikke er den første eller den sidste i denne situation. Man skulle tro, det hjælper, men det gør det bare ikke.

En børnesang fra kirken, lyder i et vers (det har jeg tænkt på flere gange i dag):

Tro er som et lille frø, du sår, og det vil vokse.

I tro, i håb og i kærlighed forsøger jeg at finde de veje/muligheder, der må være rigtige for både Lars og mig.

Der sker så meget i haven - den blomstrer.
Det er, som om den siger,til mig: 
Der er nyt liv, giv det tid -
hvor der før intet var, lå frøet i dvale
men med omsorg og pleje, blomstrede det igen.

mandag den 20. juni 2022

A difficult decision - or maybe not.

(på Dansk nedest i dette opslag)

I find it difficult to write this post. But I want to tell what's going on ...

Lars is on a 2 week stay, at a care center. (To give me a break)...
There were some things that were not as they should be, so I contacted the manager of the care center. She promised to follow up on the things I had told her, because she agreed, that these were things that were not right.
Here comes the biggest complaint: an employee called me. She asked, if I'd been informed that Lars had fallen? She thought it might be a good idea for me to know if I had planned to come and visit him.

In fact, at the time, I was packing some things that Lars was wanted, and then I was off to visit him. So, yes, that was nice to know. But, the person could not tell how it had happened - strange!
When I came to the care center, I was told, he had fallen Monday late in the afternoon - now it was Thursday
!

I should have had red hair - I was furious. Why had no one contacted me? Now it suddenly also made sense, why the caller could not tell how it had happened.
Lars had walked out of a different door - one he was not suppose to! Now he could not find his way. He ended up falling down a slope with his walker. 
Over the last year, Lars has fallen 4 times. The last 3 times, within the last 4 months.

Now, here comes the big decision.

We have to move! It is far too "dangerous" for Lars to live here. We have many stairs, inside, down to the basement. Outside there are stairs up to the main door and also down the basement. When does he fall one of these places? I feel an anxiety inside now, that I have not had before. A week ago, Lars fell outside ...

In the same timeframe, he has more and more difficulty remembering things that have just happened. Whether it's a landslide in his illness or something to do with his medication, or his falls, I do not know.
It needs to be looked into. Tomorrow I will call our doctor.

It's hard to do all this without Lars. Usually it would be something that he would take care of. We have been a very traditional married couple in that way. Now it's on my shoulders. I try to talk to Lars about it, but not too much. He gets confused by to much talk.

I can not escape the fact that there is a change - but it's hard to admit.

My cousin Mona, once told me, something like this: knowing someone with dementia is saying goodbye several times.

She is right. Every time there is a degeneration, it is a goodbye to what was - and at the same time, you  have to relate to a new everyday life.

What helps me, when things are tuff, is that I believe we encounter things on our way through life that can help and develop us. It's not the same as life is easy - certainly not, far from it. It just gives me the courage to keep going, even when it's hard and looks dark. We also meet people on our way, who can lift us, as long as we allow them. There are so much love around us. We feel so blessed.






























 En svær beslutning - og så alligevel ikke.
Jeg har svært ved at skrive dette indlæg. Men  jeg ønsker at fortælle hvad der sker...

Lars er på aflastning, og har været det i en uge. Han skal være der 2 uger i alt.
Der var nogle ting som ikke var som det skulle være, så jeg fik  kontaktede plejecentres leder. Hun lovede at følge op på de ting jeg fremlagde for hende, for hun var enig i, at det var ting som ikke var i orden.

Her kommer den største klage: en medarbejder ringede til mig. Var jeg blevet informeret om, at Lars var faldet? Hun tænkte at det måske var en god ide at jeg vidste det, hvis jeg havde planlagde at komme og besøge ham.
Faktisk var jeg på det tidspunkt i gang med at pakke nogle ting, som Lars manglede, og så skulle jeg besøge ham. Så, ja, det var da dejligt at vide.
Men, personen kunne ikke fortælle hvordan det var sket - underligt!

Da jeg så kom ud til Lars - viste det sig at han var faldet mandag sent på eftermiddagen. Nu var det Torsdag. Jeg burde have haft rødt hår - jeg var rasende. Hvorfor var der ikke nogen der havde kontaktet mig? Nu gav det pludselig mening, hvorfor den der ringede, ikke kunne fortælle hvordan det var sket. Lars var gået ud af en forkert dør, og kunne ikke finde vej. Han endte med at falde ned af en skrænt med sin rollator. 
Over det sidste år er Lars faldet 4 gange. De sidste 3 gange indenfor de sidste 4 måneder.

Nu kommer så den store beslutning.

Vi er nød til at flytte var huset. Det er alt for usikkert for Lars at bo her. Vi har mange trapper ned til kælderen. Udenfor er der trapper op til hoveddøren,  og ned til kælderen. Hvornår falder han et af disse steder? Jeg kan mærke en angst indeni nu. For en uge siden faldt Lars udenfor herhjemme... 

I samme tidsperiode har han fået mere og mere svær ved at huske, ting der lige er sket, svært ved at gå og han er mere svimmel. Om det er et skred i hans sygdom eller hans medicin ved jeg ikke. Det skal undersøges. I morgen vil jeg ringe til vores læge.

Det er svært at gøre alt dette, uden Lars. Normalt ville det være noget som han ville tage sig af. Vi har været et meget traditionelt ægtepar på det område. Nu ligger det på mine skuldre. Jeg forsøger at snakke med Lars om det, men ikke for meget. Han kan ikke rumme det.

Jeg kan ikke flygte fra at der er en forandring - men det er svært at indrømme.

Min kusine Mona, sagde engang til mig, noget i retningen af: at kende en med demens, er at sige farvel flere gange.
Hun har ret. Hver gang der er en degenerering, så er det et farvel til det som var - og samtidig, at skulle forholde sig til en ny hverdag.

Det, der hjælper mig, når tingene er svære, er, at jeg tror på, at vi møder ting på vores vej gennem livet, som kan hjælpe og udvikle os. Det er ikke det samme som at livet er nemt – bestemt ikke. Det giver mig bare modet til at blive ved, også når det er hårdt og ser mørkt ud. Vi møder også mennesker på vores vej, som kan løfte os, så længe vi giver dem lov. Der er så meget kærlighed omkring os. Vi føler os begge så velsignede.






torsdag den 9. juni 2022

Oh dear - it happend again

Lars wanted to surprise me!  He came out in the garden and sat down forabt. 10min before I sawhim. He's so caring - He was sitting there in the hot sun! He did want me to be out alone! When I saw him, I suggested that we should go unto the other side of the house - the sun was not so dominant there. Lars was ok with that.

At some point, I'm some distance away from him. There is a bump and I thought: what a strange sound! But continue to weed.

Suddenly Lars' voice sounds through the air: I need help!
I got up, and saw Lars was lying on the ground. He had fallen.

I grabbed a blanket and called home care. They came very quickly, and together we helped Lars up. Lars was checked, and it was clear that he had hit his head and upper arm. Whether it was because he had gotten too much sun, or whether he became dizzy because he was trying to get up, alone. We don't know. Lars can't remember falling.

We now need a walker that he can use every time he is outside. It makes his walk more safe and secure.

The next day, Lars slept almost all day. He was a sore.
Fortunately, he is well again now.

~~~~~~~~~~

While weeding weeds today, it occurred to me that there is a comparison in between the phases of life and garden life.

In the spring, everything comes to life - mixed with weeds, which must be weeded away, to make room for the "little ones" so they can thrive and grow big - in the short time they have for it. We all love this time: after the winter, it is so nice to be able to go out again in the garden.

The summer flowers appear in their beautiful splendor, they adorn the garden. They grow large and strong, and may set new seeds. When they have bloomed and some time have pasted, they will begin to wither away.

After them, the beautiful perennials of autumn come, which have sucked nourishment from the spring, over the summer and until now, when they stand majestic and show themselves. They last a long time - maybe until the cold and frost come. Here some wither, and they will go to sleep again - until it is their turn to come forward again.

Is life like that?
Our little ones have a short time - and a lot needs to be learned. Not least what is good or not so good for us. Somethings we keep, others must be thrown away - just like the weeds.

Time goes by and we grow up. We start a family - we sow new seeds. We do our best to be a light in the world, especially for our children. Like the summer garden, vi blossom, we shine and we love the sun!

Finally comes the time when we are firmly rooted, life is about to be over. We welcome our family and friends. The time comes when we have blossomed and are laid to rest until we must rise again.

Well, these were just a few thoughts from my walk in the garden today. A day mixed with lot of birdsong. It's so beautiful - so life affirming.

Here are some pictures of the garden. 

The first are abt. 1 month old.


This next one, are from to day. 

These will be given anyone that will take them. 
There are 100+ Narcissus... I hope someone will take them - they are free.

Here are some cards I've made.





lørdag den 28. maj 2022

How much is a bucket of weeds worth?

 Let me tell you something "funny".

The other morning at 5:20 I was up, and out in the garden. It was very dry, so I spent the next 50 min, watering the garden. When I was done, I said to Lars: How "fun" would it be, if the rain would be poring down later to day!!! Then we could have saved a lot of money.
Five hours later - the rain was poring down!!!

But I enjoy the rain poring down. This means free water for the garden plants and crops.

How much is a bucket of weeds worth?



A few days ago, I would have said: nothing! That is, unless I have to pay someone to come and remove the weeds that appear all the time.

Late last night, when the rain took a break - I asked Lars if he wanted to, and not least had the energy, to go out with me, in front of our house? I was going to remove the weeds that had come by the hedge! 

We have approx. 2*30 mtr. hedge! (ca. 2*95 ft).

Today, my bucket of weeds suddenly became very valuable - priceless.

Lars went out with me. He was sitting on his walker while I picked up weeds. We talked - we had a nice time together. These are memories worth collecting!

Later in the evening our youngest daughter, Grethe, came by with a surprise.
She told me to close me eyes. Then she told me, to smell some thing she had in a bag. Oh my, I knew right a way what is was: Allium ursinum (wild garlic)



For a long time I have wanted to cook something with that. But it is hard to find.
Grethe, Mads (our grandson) and I was even on a trip to a forrest, Fussingø, where I knew that mange years ago there were a lot of Allium ursinum. 


This time, there were none. So, it was a big surprise, when she came with a whole bag full of these beautiful flowers/herbs. 

Thank you so so much Grethe!

Just a side note:
When we moved into our house 2 years ago, there was not much in our large garden. To day, this is what it looks like!




Plumb tree with forrest berrys under it 

Tomato's

rhubarb & raspberries, 

blackcurrants,

currants,

 gooseberries, and in the back there's potatoes and sweet peas

Cucurbita pepo


Chervil

blackberry

chives, radishes, carrots, garlic

A lilac bush (Syringa vulgaris) to the left - there's not many flowers left. I picked them. I'm going to make juice of them.

I forgot to take pictures of the 2 apple trees, sorry

I love rain - Rain is heaven's blessings on our garden.